As Named on TV

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Anyone who watches television between the hours of 10pm to 6am is no stranger to the hypnotic lull of the infomercial. In the wee hours of the morning while I am battling the occasional bout of insomnia, I find myself amazed by the power of an oxygen based cleaner, or convinced that an air sealed bag is the solution to all of my house hold clutter. I also wonder why the same dark headed man with a thick beard and excruciatingly loud voice appears on almost all infomercial product ads—but that is beside the point.

The question I have about these As Seen on TV type products, that pops into my head after Ron Popeil practically jumps out of my television screen demanding me to “SET IT, AND FORGET IT!”, is who in the world names these things?


The names of these products seem to never fade from our memories. Everyone knows what a Chia Pet® is, and who would ever use an oven again after discovering the premier meat cuisine creator that is the Ronco Showtime Rotisserie®? So I guess my real question would be this: Does a plain name produce just as much brand recall as a creative name? Does an obvious name secure a stronger position in the consumers mind? And why can I remember the names of these products, without knowing what the product actually is?

“But WAIT! There’s more!”

I have compiled a list of my top ten favorite infomercial product names for your viewing pleasure. Some are descriptive, and some are a little more on the abstract side. I have created my own version of naming rationale to spice the names up a bit. These names have managed to stick in my mind, even if I have no clue what the product actually does.

1. Zorbeez®: From absorbent; An absorbent sham useful for cleaning up anything from spilled milk to kryptonite.

2. Aqua Globe™: Literally meaning ‘sphere of water’; A plant feeder in the shape of a globe that contains enough water to feed your fern for the next millennium.

3. Mighty Putty®: Super strength putty; A little dab of this wonder can be attached to your trailer hitch to pull small buildings.

4. Ab Scissor®: A special type of scissors designed to literally cut your abs, an alternative to weight loss surgery.

5. Awesome Auger™: The dictionary defines an auger as a ‘boring tool’—but this auger is not boring at all—it’s AWESOME!

6. Green Bags®: No description necessary.

7. ShamWow!®: The Zorbeez’ first cousin, however, it only works correctly if the user repeatedly exclaims “WOW!” while using it.

8. Kaboom®: A household cleaner that is obviously not flammable. Sounds safe enough to use in your lit fireplace.

9. Orange Glo®: Doubles as self-tanner!

10. RoboMaid®: Also known as Rosie, from The Jetsons.

You can print this list for three easy payments of $19.95…

Contributed by Laine Beyerl